|Seeing Kaylin for the first time|
I was so doped up from all the medicine they had given me by the time I got back to the labor and delivery room I was not in a state to attempt to even parent. I laid there in the hospital bed while my daughter was being checked out by NICU (everything was fine, take a deep breath and relax) completely and totally out of it. I knew she was here, and I knew I wasn't going to get to see her right away but it still didn't connect.
I called my family, who was all waiting anxiously to hear about her safe arrival. I explained what I could over the phone without scaring anyone, while I rubbed my face with my hand because it itched. I remember getting off the phone and repeating over and over, I'm itchy. The nurse finally gave me some benadryl which naturally made me go into a medically induced mini coma.
I woke up a few hours later, in the dark of my hospital room. I was sore from head to toe from the C-Section, but I had one thing on my mind.
[a few second later] Dennis...
[a few more seconds later] Oh for crying out loud! DENNIS!
[rustling] Huh? What? What?
I wanna see Kaylin.
What time is it?
I dunno. Go get the nurse. I want to see my daughter.
[grumbles] Ugh. Now?
Yes now. I haven't seen her yet. I want to hold her.
[gets out of the little cot thing he was sleeping in] Okay hold on.
I work myself into a sitting position while he heads down the hallway to get the nurse. He comes back in a few minutes later.
She'll be in, in a few minutes.
Thanks honey. I can't wait to see her.
A little while later the nurse comes in with a wheelchair and her and Dennis help me get into the wheel chair. I am wheeled to the NICU for the first time to see my precious little girl. The NICU nurse placed a pillow on my lap to help support Kaylin and keep her off my scar. Then she placed her in my arms. I felt her weight, and she finally felt real. My heart about jumped out of my chest. She was perfect, everything I could have ever hoped for.
Honestly, I can't wait to see what else our lives have in store for us. I love her with every beat of my heart, and though I'm not a super mommy I definitely would do anything for her a million times over.
I love you Little. You're everything.