Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Gahhh, is it Monday?!?!

Bahhh! What the hell? Seriously, a Monday on Tuesday?! So I go to do some research for my psychology paper...but the world decides I do not need to do such a silly thing. The site will NOT connect. I've called the internet provider, the school, and a friend (to make sure it wasn't *my* internet). None of which worked. So conclusion...it HAS to be the school. But seriously, WTF?! I really want to start this paper and this is making it impossible. Hmmph, maybe I just won't use those resources. Though I'd like to I believe using professional articles is better than random websites but hey I gotta do what I can, right?!

Its not even the end of the semester and I'm already researching next semesters classes. Am I crazy?! Though what makes me look so much is because I've got to buy the books out of pocket, and those add up really fast when you have 4 classes. Hmmph. Decisions, decisions. Gah, I hate, hate my major but nursing isn't available over here and so to avoid paying back student loans, I'm going back for something else. At least by the time I leave here, I hope to have a degree. So that way we can get settled and I can attempt to go back for my nursing degree.

Kaylin has picked today, of all days, to be a holy terror. She's eaten so much, I had to make an extra bottle to get her through the day. WTF kid?! I really think she was tired but she woke up and figured she'd scream until I gave her a bottle. I have a feeling she'll be going down early tonight. Plus I'm exhausted and my ear hurts. :( I really hope these antibiotics kick in soon. It doesn't help I'm not taking the benadryl that she gave me. But it makes me sleepy...I can't afford to be sleepy right now! If I was only taking the one class I could easily afford to be sleepy. Sadly, I'm not! So I guess I'll have to be miserable for a few more days.

Dennis said that its going to be a long few weeks. They're doing something to prep for deployment. I think like starting to pack equipment and stuff. Bleh, I really don't want to be the only one dealing with Kaylin all day long. I don't mind it when he's not home, I really don't get a choice there. But when he is home, I need a freaking break! Especially when I'm like 3 weeks behind in one class. (Not to help that I have the paper in that class that I can't seem to do) Top if off she's tried every ounce of patience I have today. I called Dennis in hopes that he'd be home soon and he coped an attitude with me. FUCK YOU, I'm at home trying to do shit for you and your kid and you cop an attitude with me because I need you? AAAARGHHHHHHH

Oh and he somehow thinks we'll be able to go home for Christmas. STILL! I feel so bad but we can't. Originally his mom was gonna pay for our tickets, well he came home from the field he started talking about flying space-a. Terrible idea. Then top it off its Christmas time. Argh, I could vent on this all day but whatever. I'm over it. I'm not going, decision final. If he wants to go fine, he can miss his daughter's first Christmas and our anniversary. He will NOT like me when he gets back, and that is a promise. I feel bad about all of it, but I'm sick of trying to figure out where we are going to come up with the money. We can't fly until after the 22nd, and I refuse to spend Christmas in the airport. Its bad timing all around, but ya know what...I didn't sign the dotted line to join the Army. I didn't know that when I joined there was a possibility I'd be stationed overseas. Sorry. So if you are so "homesick" and everything...quit buying video games, stop spending money on stupid shit. You are your own worst enemy. But I flat out refuse to go back to the States and not go see my family with Kaylin. And I refuse to fly home and then go back without Dennis (he goes home first) and go and see my family. Because that's not fair, what if I can't get back before he deploys?! Its just not worth it to me. And sorry, but I don't see any of them jumping to come to Germany to see her. If it was as "important" as they all say...they would have made a point to get over here. They've all been parents, they know how hard it is to travel a few hours with a baby...now let's just pick up and go across the world.

Top it off, Kaylin has decided to test every ounce of patience I have today. I feel like I'm going crazy. Dennis said "it'd be a long day" for the next two weeks. SUPER. So not only am I

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