Why?!

Why does it always take the tragedy of others to make us see what is directly in front of our eyes. Again, the friend who lost her little girl posted the story of her on our website. All I can say is WOW. I cried reading it. It was so hard to even think about losing Kaylin. There are days where I get frustrated and annoyed because she cries all day and wants to be held. But sitting there reading how my friend's arms ache because she longs to hold her daughter makes me feel terrible. I do not feel terrible for having Kaylin, I feel terrible because I take for granted the things she misses most. I never want to take the days I have with Kaylin for granted like I have been. I get annoyed because I have to hold her to sleep and it impedes my school work. Then I read about how much she wishes to hold her little girl and I feel like shit. I hate thinking about all the times I've yelled out of frustration at Kaylin because she won't stop crying. Now I think about how much my friend would like to hear her daughter cry. I feel like I've taken so much for granted lately, and I feel horrible that my friend's terrible tragedy forced me to open my eyes to what I have.

I've got a beautiful baby girl, who adores me more than anything in this world. She trusts me completely, and depends on me for everything. She is utterly defenseless and needs me to do everything I possibly can for her. I am so thankful that I have this blessing of mine. I thank God that he has granted my every prayer where Kaylin is concerned. She is healthy and is everything I could have asked for, and then some. Words can not describe how I feel about this little girl, I am just so thankful for her.

So to my dear friend, I am so sorry for your loss. I know you are not religious but please know that I am praying for you. I'm praying that you somehow find peace and that you find acceptance one of these days. I wish "I'm sorry" fulfilled how I feel right now. But it seems so below what you and your husband deserve. So please for now, I thank you. Thank you for showing me my blessing through your terrible tragedy. RIP, little one.