Lately I am not sure what to make of my feelings. On one hand, I am apprehensive about the deployment coming up and on the other I am so ready to get it over with.
I'm not sure if its because the communication is going to be worse than we thought, and I'll be lucky to get a phone call a month. But then he said the platoon was thinking about splitting the cost of a satellite so they could have internet. It'll boil down to like $50 a month. And I'm totally ALL for that. Or because I'm nervous that he isn't going to feel the same about me. Which I know is absolutely ridiculous, its a stupid reason. I know better but for some reason I think I'm afraid that history is going to repeat itself. Though I sit there and think about it. What happens if history repeats itself? I survived once, it wasn't easy but now I know what I need to do for myself. No, I do not want it, AT ALL. But I have to realize these fears are stupid and unnecessary. Even if he comes home and doesn't want me, fine...me and Kaylin will move back home and I'll find someone who does. RIGHT?! So my darling brain, STOP thinking. :) Trust your husband, because he loves you and he would do anything for you.
On the other hand, I want it to start SO bad. I want to go home in July, see him in August and then go back to the States for Christmas. I am going to count, but count UP. I am going to set realistic goals, go on trips, and hang out with the girls. I can do this. I've done it before, separation sucks but I know its not good bye, its see ya later!
A wise person once said..."Missing someone gets easier every day because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. ♥"