Monday, December 5, 2011

Day 16 – A picture of someone who inspires you

My Papa. Possibly THE best man I have ever known; besides my Daddy.

I have always been family person. I never had that urge to be dropped off for school down the street from the building. I was rarely embarrassed by my parents dancing to pop songs in line at the mall. I actually enjoyed going shopping with my mom and sisters on Saturday nights.

Instead of spending nights out partying with my friends in high school, I spent my Friday and Saturdays at CC Hockey games with my Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, sisters and Aunt.

For a while growing up we lived with my dad at my grandparents house. They became a sort of surrogate parental figures for my sisters and I. I was born hours before my grandfathers birthday. We always celebrated our special day together. The first birthday I had after he passed away was one of the hardest days of my life.

He never got to meet my daughter or see what all I've become. But I want him to be proud. I haven't made the best decisions in life, but I know he loves me all the same. I am so thankful he was able to be here to see me graduate high school. It was such an important day for me.

So Papa, here I am. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and how much you really mean to me. Sometimes I get angry at myself for not taking that call from Dad more seriously. I remember he called to say you were in the hospital again, but it didn't seem serious. I wish I had called you, talked to you one last time. I know nothing I will ever do will change the fact that I didn't. But I know you love me still, and you forgive me. You're probably looking down on me right now chuckling, your big old belly shaking. You always loved unconditionally.  All I can do is the same.

1 comment:

Bella's Blog said...

He loved you so much! Remember the friendship bracelet you made him? He was more upset that they had to cut it than the fact that he was about to have surgery!! Please don't be sorry that you didn't call him that day... There was no way any of us knew how sick he really was. He absolutely knew how much you loved him! He would be proud of you and he knows and adores Kaylin too. <3