Monday, October 17, 2011

Because I've got "Moves Like Jagger" Stuck in My Head

United Kingdom, 1960's. Amidst Beatle-mania, a rock band arises that will change the world forever, even into the new millennium. Who knew that even in 2011, we'd have artists singing about Mick Jagger!

Firstly, I do not get the fascination with him. Not even the 1960's Mick Jagger. I mean at least back then he wasn't all sunken in, wrinkly, strung out looking. Even the feathered hair is a turn off, I mean shoot that should have been left for Farrah Fawcett.

I can't, for the life of me understand why Ke$ha would even consider kicking a guy to the curb unless he looks like Mick Jagger. Has she seen a picture of him lately? I definitely did some googling, he is not an attractive looking guy. His smile makes his eyes wrinkle, his mouth is huge, and he's got wrinkles on top of wrinkles. He is not attractive in any way. I'd probably kick a guy to the curb if he looked like Mick Jagger, because that is not hot. Could you imagine going on a date with a guy who looks like Mick Jagger? You get there and people think you're going on a date with your dad or something. Then when you hold hands and look longingly into each other's eyes, people think you're a freak and back away slowly. Think I'm kidding? Play that scenario out in your head, I'll wait...yup, see told ya.

Or imagine that guy coming up to you in the bar. "Can I buy you a drink?" All your friends look around because he looks like a creeper. That's one of those situations where you set the drink down, doesn't matter if its full or empty and you walk away. Quickly. And hope he doesn't get the wrong impression and follow you to your car. I know for a fact that would be my experience. An old creepy guy wanting to buy me a drink? No thanks, *walk away quickly, don't look back...maybe he won't follow*. Yup. I would walk away, possibly run, if he had "moves like Jagger".

Come on Maroon 5, are we seriously at that point? The weird tongue thing that Mick Jagger does? Here, I'm going to stick my tongue out at you, its sexy. See?! Uh, no. No its not. Stick your tongue out at a girl in ANY situation and you're going to be met with a raise eyebrow, a disgusted look, and the fastest shut down you've EVER seen. A woman does not want to be treated like a piece of meat. And if she says she does, well then you need to find a better woman. If you even think you're going to kiss me using any of Mick Jagger's moves you've got another thing coming too.

Can anyone enlighten me? What's the appeal of Mick Jagger? I'd rather have Channing Tatum, Jake Gyyenhaal or Keanu Reeves before Mick Jagger. How about a song about their moves?!

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