'Tis the Season

Tall pine trees, strands and strands of brightly colored lights hanging from the roof, the same songs played on the over head radio's in every retail establishment.

The time has come, its Christmas time again. Again. It feels like yesterday I was getting ready for the Little's first Christmas. I was busy buying up the PX with every various 6 month + toy I could find. I wanted it to be the most special thing for her, even though she would never remember.

For the longest time I wasn't a huge fan of Christmas. Not that I didn't love giving gifts, I loved sharing and creating joy. All I could ever see with the holiday was stress, money spending, and more stress. Even when I was in high school. Friends trying to out do each other by giving gifts, showing off their awesomeness.

In high school I worked at Chuck E Cheese. As any former CEC employee should be well aware, the segments that run on CEC TV are about 2 hours long. So in any 8 hour shift, a "cast member" (as we were so affectionately called) heard the same songs at least 4 times. "Silly Songs with Larry", various CEC covers of old hits like Elvis' "Return to Sender", and the old version of "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing" played over and over every 2 hours. Like an unforgiving countdown for my shift.

Those I could handle, shoot after a while I began to bounce around a bit and bob my head to the beat. Then, shortly after I started working was Thanksgiving. The day after is when our CD switched from annoying bits of normal everyday, music to 2 hours of Christmas music. But it wasn't any Christmas music it was Veggie Tales sing Christmas songs, and covers of a few of the good songs done by the voices of Chuck E Cheese. (Please if you've been to CEC recently do that guys voice in your head. You know you can)

After about 3 days, I was massively over hearing a squeaky version of "Jingle Bells" and "All I Want for Christmas, is You". And we had to suffer, for over a month. 5 days a week, 25-30 hours a week.

Over and Over

By the end of the holiday season I was ready to toss the DVD in with Santa's sleigh and send it farther than the North Pole.

And so began my annoyance with Christmas music. I hated the end of October, (actually I still do) when stores start putting out their Christmas decorations early in hopes that some sappy person will come and buy up stuff before November peaks its head around the corner.

I grumbled with resentment every time major retailers began their Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving. Even more than all of that, I rolled my eyes at the newest radio station to play Christmas music 24/7 until the fat man squeezes his "bowl full of jelly" down the tiniest of tiny chimneys.

I was this way for years. I wasn't a Scrooge or a grump about it all. I loved buying gifts I just didn't want it all to start so early. I wanted to enjoy each holiday, I didn't want to have to see a 9 foot pre-lit aspen tree in the store while I was shopping for my Halloween costume. Could it be that much to ask?

THEN insert my little bundle of joy. Suddenly Christmas took on an entirely different meaning. I forced Dennis out of bed the Saturday after Thanksgiving to go with me to look at new Christmas trees. Ours was falling apart and the previous year I had vowed that it would be our tree's last. I just couldn't fluff those dwindling branches up anymore than I had.

We got such a great deal on the tree that it opened us up to getting even more stuff for the Little for Christmas. Dennis and I spent hours in the PX messing with toys and saying, "Oh that one is nice." and "She'll love that." By the 15th of December not only had I bought all the Christmas presents that we were getting, but they were all wrapped and sitting nicely under the tree.

It helped that Dennis was gone for a few weeks and I had nothing better to do with my time but wrap. But I even sat there drinking my hot chocolate with my iTunes going with as many Christmas songs from Johnny Cash, Mariah Carey, and every other country star who has ever put out a Christmas album, that I could think of. I was beyond excited for this Christmas.

Once again, this year I find myself in more of the merry sorts. All of the Little's Christmas shopping is done. Even down to her stocking. I may pick up one or two more small things for it, but what she has for now will definitely do if I don't. Her "list" has been sent to Santa and she's been a very good girl this year. The only thing I really want to find is a Rascal's Christmas Ornament, so who knows that may be on my list for tomorrow. In any way, she's definitely done in the Christmas department.

I've been patiently trying to wait to wrap all her stuff, just because a lot of the boxes are bigger but tomorrow is the first day of December. Maybe I'll do it all tomorrow. :)

Looks like I've got my Little to thank once again for brightening my holiday spirit. I definitely need it.

Day 12 – A picture of something you love

Stuffed animals. When I was little I loved them. All of them, every softness, every texture. I couldn't get enough of them. They never let me down when I was sad and were with me when I was happy. My bed was flooded with them, most of the time I had to knock them out of the way to sleep.

They even had their own places on the bed, and they all were there. I had a big bunny rabbit that I had won in a raffle at a local diner, a big puppy that I had begged my grandmother for, and two little snuggle bears like the ones from the commercial.

Since then I've leveled out a bit, I do enjoy getting them but now they end up with Kaylin over me. I have to make a point to stay away from the stuffed animal aisle at any major store with toys. Otherwise I'd have nothing in my bank account!

Day 11 – A picture of something you hate

Guess what ya'll. I've got a phobia. Actually likely the majority of the population, WE have a phobia. I am Coulrophobic. I. HATE. CLOWNS.

I couldn't even bring myself to post a "real" clown. I had to settle for a drawing in pretty bright colors. Look, he's even got a creepy smile on his face.

I am also Masklophobic

It all started when I was younger, maybe about 7 or 8. My family was (and mostly still is) avid Colorado College Hockey fans. Typically we'd leave right after the game ended, once in a blue moon we'd stay and chat with a friend for a few minutes.

On this particular night, we had stayed longer than usual chatting with one of my family's many hockey buddies. CC has this mascot tiger that skates around. Remember, 7 or 8 years old. I didn't really think much of it, I knew he wasn't a real tiger but I never thought about who was under that crooked head and fake fur.

So there I stand with my family as the arena (then held at the Air Force Academy) emptied and workers began the slow process of sweeping up the piles of popcorn and spilled soda off the stands. I take it all in, I hadn't been at the arena this late, ever. I had never seen it so empty but so busy.

And then I saw it. Well more like him. The mascot. He was a college kid, probably a little bit younger than I am now. Brown hair dripping with sweat and he carried out the tiger head under his arm. He was in street clothes, jeans and a shirt, but the rest had to have been in the duffle bag he was carrying.

From that point on, I had a fear of mascots. I don't know who is under those layers of sweat, fake fur, and plaster. I'd love to believe that every mascot is a 17 year old kid working his way up the food chain at his local Burger King. But I just can't. There is something about those smiles, and can't talk attitudes that have me uneasy.

I'm going to say that's why I hate clowns as well. Even though they aren't encased in a plaster head and faux fur uniform, you don't know know who is under them. And a lot of creepy old guys seem to flock to clowns. *shudder*

Day 10 – A picture of someone you do the craziest things with

2008

So I'm bending the rules a little bit again today. But not in the way you're going to think. I'm posting more than one picture this time. Because every picture I have is a memory that I will never forget.

One of MANY black and white pictures

It was August 2008. I was in a rough part of my life. Things hadn't gone the way I had hoped for months. I had recently left Greeley, where I was pursuing a nursing degree to move back home to the Springs.

Erica and I had worked together years before at Chuck E Cheese. We weren't the best of friends, but I didn't hate her guts either.

When Erica found out I moved back to town, she messaged me her cell number and insisted we hang out. I wrote her back with my number and said that we'd have to plan something soon.

The button was a roll, that said..."This is how I roll"

Little did I know, that the promise of "soon" was going to lead to one of the most rewarding friendships I've ever had. I text her for the first time just after I had started school. (I only remember this from the self titled album on Facebook) She knew of a party we could go to, to celebrate our first weekend of the school year.

And from there it was on like Donkey Kong. We spent  every weekend day together, practically inseparable. If she wasn't with me, I was with her. My family became her second family, and to this day they still ask about her all the time. I'd get asked, "Where's Erica?" or "Are you going with Erica?" I knew the way to her house like the back of my hand. SHOOT, after almost 3 years of NOT being there I still managed to find the way and pop in for a Halloween surprise with my Little.

Her family became like my second family. To this day her mom, dad, and brother are "our" family. We spent Thanksgiving with her family, until the the wee hours of the morning. The inside jokes we have can't even be counted.

I honestly know that I would have never gotten through those 6 months without her. It hurt to have her leave for basic training, but I was honored to help her study so much for the ASVAB.

I love this girl, she can be miles away and I still feel like she's here with me. I miss her like crazy and I'm so glad she's happy. I can't wait to see her at Christmas time, I wonder what kind of trouble we'll all get in. :)

To my Erica Lynn...my right hand, the one I have to give so much credit to. I love you, you rock. Always. The only one who I know that can fall, flat on her face in the middle of a field for no apparent reason. <3

Day 09 – A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

My Aunt and Grandma

Okay, I am going to bend the rules just a little bit. :)

My aunt and grandma have always been there for me. When I've been dumped by an undeserving guy, they were there. When I found out I was pregnant, they were there (figuratively but still, there). When my heart was crushed and life wasn't the same, they were there.

It hasn't been easy, or pleasant some of the time but they love me. And I love the fact that I can call and talk to them any time I want to and don't feel like they are going to judge anything or tell me what I'm thinking is wrong.

And when I don't say it nearly enough, thanks. I love you both. <3

Dear Black Friday

I sorta hate your guts...I told Kristen this morning as I was leaving the house at o'dark 30, that I was going to write this.

I've never actually worked a traditional Black Friday in all my retail experience. I've done retail for years...I'm sure you're shocked too.

When I worked at Shoe Carnival I didn't end up working Black Friday. I'm sure I gave some lame excuse to them to avoid working 12+ hours in full shoe madness.

On my application for Walmart I told them I couldn't start work until AFTER Thanksgiving weekend. Dennis and I actually didn't even leave the house that day. Nothing I was going to buy for Christmas was worth the swarms of people, pushing, fighting, swearing, and the lines. No thank you.

After that it had been quite the time since I had worked retail. In Germany we went shopping on Black Friday last year, but more for an awesome deal on a Christmas tree. (Unfortunately the one we had, from my grandparents, was dwindling. It looked a bit like Charlie Brown's Christmas Tree) We ended up saving extra money (thanks to me...) and we were able to buy Kaylin more presents. Oh and I think Dennis got the super, mega, nerd edition of Avatar. *Insert eye roll here* I have noticed that my Christmas spirit started a bit early last year. I was so excited to have Kaylin's first Christmas that it was almost unbearable to make it until the 25th. I'm starting to get that way now too. I even find myself singing along to Christmas music and not minding it, BEFORE Thanksgiving was even over.

However this year I did not get the pleasure of dodging the Black Friday Bullet. My part-time gig at Kohl's led me to one of the longest shifts I've ever had. Midnight. Kohl's opened at MIDNIGHT. I was scheduled at 2 am, which meant even though I'd miss some of the crazies, they were still going to be flocking around destroying my departments.

When I got to work this morning, I was downing my coffee, smiling, greeting and hoping no one noticed that I had ABSOLUTELY no desire to be there. What so ever. I grumbled as I cleaned out dressing room after dressing room, hanging clothes, folding and re-folding jeans, and sorting them back for the floor. Yes, I am VERY thankful I have a job, one that allows me to work. But there is just something about the stress of Black Friday that I was not into at all.

Anyways, what is it about shopping? Kohls, Target, Old Navy, and Best Buy all opened their doors at Midnight. I can't vouch for the rest of the stores, or company for that matter but by 3:30 or 4 am, we were so slow. The midnight rush had died down considerably. I clocked out around 6, headed to Walmart to get Kaylin's presents and there was no one there. 6 am! They still had everything that I could want or think of needing, and had plenty of it.

When did our society become so money hungry? I know Kaylin and I went to bed at 8 last night so that I could get enough sleep to make it through what I thought was going to be the longest day ever. Even though Thanksgiving was dying down, I was still losing out on family time to get ready for this "big day". When did our stores starting caring more about profits and less about their associates spending time with family?

Day 08 – A picture of your most treasured item

Go ahead. Judge me.

Yes I love my daughter more than anything in this world. Anything you could possibly imagine. I'd give it all up if it meant that she would have clothes on her back and food in her stomach. Heck I'd even go hungry.

But this picture is not about a person. She is not an item. She's an extension of me.

This picture is supposed to be about an item. An item is something that you own.

My computer is by far a most treasured item, but not for the reason everyone is going to think. My computer not only contains nearly, EVERY picture I have of Kaylin, but memories I do not want to forget. Because of my pictures, it has to be my most prized possession.