Comparisons

Everyone does it. You can't deny it.

I want her hair.

Her car is better than mine.

She understands this material better than I do. If she can understand it, I'm out of luck.

The list goes on and on. Because we all do it. Heck even I'm guilty of it, almost constantly. But then today I log into my Facebook, and one of my applications is a little quote thing. Its called, "God Wants You to Know". Sure a lot of them are about not taking the small things for granted, getting out and enjoying nature, and love being everywhere around us.

Some days the application hits the nail on the head, its exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. Other days the message is meaningful but doesn't necessarily smack me in the face.

Then I got this today...

On this day of your life, Ashlee, we believe God wants you to know...that you need to stop comparing yourself to other people. Some people are great singers, some are really smart and others are great athletes. But none of them are, or ever could be you. You are one of a kind. So stop comparing yourself to other people. You can't be them any more than they can be you.

WOW. The more I thought about it the more I enjoyed it; the more meaningful it became. In our society we spend so much time trying to be the next best thing. We watch fashion shows on TV, idolize models who are overly skinny, and watch as celebrities drop their baby weight in the blink of an eye.

As a society we get so caught up in what everyone else is doing that we forget that we are individuals with our very own potential. Even I am guilty of doing it. I can't even think of how many times this week I've idolized someone else. I've even done the "I wish I was her" 's lately. What can I say I'm human.

I get so wrapped up in what I want I forget what all I have. I forget what my goals and potential really are. My focus has shifted from doing what I know I can, to being something that everyone seems to want. And now I realize that I will never get anywhere by doing that. I can never achieve my dreams of being a nurse and taking care of Kaylin, if I don't  look at myself instead of comparing myself to everyone else.

So my dear reader(s) stop looking at the world to give you the answers you are so desperately looking for. Instead, look at yourself and make what you want happen. Then you'll find that you're just as happy as Jane across the street. Do it for yourself.

Day 18 – A picture of the sexiest Woman alive

 

Sexy; excitingly appealing; glamorous. 

Men drool over her. A vast majority of women will at least admit she's pretty. (Mostly because there aren't many women on the planet who will admit ANY woman is prettier/sexier than she is.)

She turned heads in both Transformers 1 & 2; in her low cut shirts, her daisy-duke style shorts, and long dark hair. 

I am secure enough in myself to admit she's hot. And way hotter than I am. I'm not really fishing for compliments here, just being completely and totally honest. 

There are a lot of pretty women in the world. There are a lot of hot women in the world as well. Most of the time you don't even have to look at Hollywood to see them. Beauty can manifest itself in many different shapes and forms. 

It can be in the form of a teenage girl who has fantastic self-confidence. Or a middle aged mom of 3, out dancing for her first girl's night in years. Or a senior citizen who still has enough energy to look like a rock star and never wear the same outfit, the exact same way twice. Yes, those are all beautiful too. 

So instead of looking to the media for our image of "hot", I'm going to encourage everyone to look around themselves. Find the inner beauty in everyone. When we start doing that, the world will be a much better place.

Day 17 – A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

A snowy view of Pikes Peak from the Garden of the Gods

 This one was really a challenge for me. Nothing has recently impacted my life that much. Okay, let me rephrase that. Nothing has impacted my life much that I am able to take a picture of. Because there are definitely things that have impacted my life recently.

 Snow and I have a love hate relationship. I love when it snows. I love the glistening white powder covering the trees, ground, and rooftops. I absolutely cannot stand when I have to go anywhere in it. Typically its cold, and I hate the cold. If it snowed and was 90 degrees outside I'd be set for life. Because its pretty, I just loathe being cold.

Plus when it snows its like every bad driver known to mankind needs to go somewhere at the very same time I am. I don't mind going slower due to treacherous road conditions but I do mind going 5 miles an hour at the bottom of a steep hill. Sorry but there is no way that you'll make it up that hill going that slow; and now you're putting me in danger as well as yourself.

In fact, I really wouldn't even mind being snowed in somewhere up in the mountains for a few days. As long as I have a few basic, "necessities" I'll be set. Give me a fireplace, coffee, a few really warm blankets (oh my fantasy place has heat..do not be concerned), and enough food for a few days...I'd be good. See I don't mind when it snows, I just hate having to drive in it with all the other idiot drivers. In turn, I find snow peaceful and rejuvenating.

Downtown Colorado Springs

There aren't many views like this one. A snow covered mountain scene with a downtown Colorado Springs Skyline. Its actually quite beautiful. There aren't many places like it on Earth.

The only place that I have seen that can take my breath away like this place, was in Bavaria, Germany. The Alps were incredible. I can't say for sure, we'd be in Germany for almost a year at that point; and when you're used to waking up to scenery like this every morning, anything that is bigger than a hill can be quite the spectacle. They reminded me of home, and for the first time since we left Colorado I felt like I belonged in that foreign country.

Okay now try and tell me that is not BEAUTIFUL.

Didn't think ya could. Though when we were there it wasn't snowing but it was chilly. I don't think I could have dealt with that walk with ice and snow. I almost died as it was. But I blame that on the 30+ minute hike up the hill to the castle itself and being 5 months pregnant.

With all the changes going on, I'm going with remember the small things. Take a step back and enjoy the spilled milk; one day you'll look around and those hand prints on your walls won't be there anymore.

Day 16 – A picture of someone who inspires you

My Papa. Possibly THE best man I have ever known; besides my Daddy.

I have always been family person. I never had that urge to be dropped off for school down the street from the building. I was rarely embarrassed by my parents dancing to pop songs in line at the mall. I actually enjoyed going shopping with my mom and sisters on Saturday nights.

Instead of spending nights out partying with my friends in high school, I spent my Friday and Saturdays at CC Hockey games with my Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, sisters and Aunt.

For a while growing up we lived with my dad at my grandparents house. They became a sort of surrogate parental figures for my sisters and I. I was born hours before my grandfathers birthday. We always celebrated our special day together. The first birthday I had after he passed away was one of the hardest days of my life.

He never got to meet my daughter or see what all I've become. But I want him to be proud. I haven't made the best decisions in life, but I know he loves me all the same. I am so thankful he was able to be here to see me graduate high school. It was such an important day for me.

So Papa, here I am. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and how much you really mean to me. Sometimes I get angry at myself for not taking that call from Dad more seriously. I remember he called to say you were in the hospital again, but it didn't seem serious. I wish I had called you, talked to you one last time. I know nothing I will ever do will change the fact that I didn't. But I know you love me still, and you forgive me. You're probably looking down on me right now chuckling, your big old belly shaking. You always loved unconditionally.  All I can do is the same.

Day 15 – A picture of something you want to do before you die

 New York City. There have been songs written after it, movies and TV shows set in it, its known as the Big Apple, and its home of some of the best (from what I have heard) pizza in the world.

I'm sure to you, none of this makes sense. Honestly to me it doesn't make much sense either. I don't know where my obsession with the city came from. In fact, until 2001 I didn't know much about the city at all.

I can't remember the year, but I sat on the couch one evening and my mom had the lighting of the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center. I watched in complete awe as famous singers sang Christmas songs, dancers performed with extreme precision, and the countdown began.

I couldn't tell you exactly what happened next, but when the tree was lit for the first time my jaw just dropped. The tree was magnificent, so clean, so tall. I admired this tree, the people it took to put together, everyone that made that one moment possible.

It was from then on I knew I wanted to be there one year when it happened. I wanted to see the Christmas Tree be lit. I want that memory to be with me and my children. There could never be anything like that.

For a few years, mostly before high school ended but after CSI:NY started, I dreamed  I was going to live in New York City. I didn't care where or when. But I wanted to be there, in all that hustle and bustle. I wanted to walk to and from work, take the subway home and pick up fresh produce every night for dinner. All part of the experience, right?!

But after a bit of a reality check, as in money, and a new boyfriend that dream slowly faded into just another long lost hope.

When I was trying to decide what to write for this blog, my mind went wild. I really don't have a bucket list. Mostly because I plan on living forever, but because I never really gave much thought to it. Most people want to live in a foreign country (check), go to an exotic place (check), see all sorts of European tourist attractions (check, check, check). So I really never had much of a desire for a bucket list. My mind bounced to skydiving, scuba diving, and para-sailing.

But I never quite understood why someone would want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

The only other time I ever went scuba diving it ended badly, so that thought kinda freaks me out. However it was in 6th grade, so I wouldn't mind doing it again but not bad enough to put it on a bucket list.

Para-sailing would really be neat, but I'm not a huge boat person. So I'm not completely sure how that would go over.

But now, now this would be amazing. Going to NYC, seeing all the different tourist attractions, eating delicious food out of carts on the streets. I want the full experience.

I want to go and stand in Times Square and just turn around and around. Take it all in.

More than anything I want to make sure my Little is old enough to experience all of it too. I want to make sure she has as much fun as I will.

Day 14 – A picture of your favorite store

Its the one store that I missed most in Germany. The 24 hour shopping, the incredible (mostly) deals, the long lines.

All of it.

I never thought I'd miss it, in fact I always grumbled about going to Wally World when I had to. It was the last place anyone with half a brain seems to want to go, especially on payday.

I remember our first Christmas in Germany. I unwrapped all the Christmas decorations and found an old Walmart bag. Being hormonal (probably 5 week pregnant) and missing home I almost broke down in tears. I wanted to hug that good old Walmart bag.

Even now, our cupboard over flows with little plastic bags from Walmart. I'm there at least twice a week, the deals don't change much but I always manage to forget one thing I'd purposely gone for.

Walmart isn't necessary my FAVORITE of favorite stores, but its definitely the one that I frequent the most.

Now Kohls on the other hand. FAV-OR-ITE! Now I'm not boasting because I work for one, trust me they do not need the publicity from a lowly blog like mine.

Its all about saving money. I remember when the Little started to outgrow her shoes. I went immediately online to search for a Shoe Carnival in the area. Much to my disappointment, all the ones in the area had been closed. Instead of spending a bunch of money on shoes that my Little was going to outgrow in a matter of months, my sister and I headed to Kohl's.

We found 2 pairs of shoes on clearance and I managed to find a new snazzy pair of sunglasses for $15! Now try and beat that! It was long before I started working there. Now I get paid to work at a store that is honestly giving something back.

I love spending 1/4 of what I saved. Go, shop!

Day 13 – A picture of your favorite band or artist

Rascal Flatts. One of my favorite country bands. Their songs are always real and down to earth. They always speak to me, and I find it very easy to put their entire album on repeat when I am feeling a little down.

I feel like one of those teenage girls that has every song "speak" to her and is completely describing my every feeling.

They don't always get it right, but the majority of the time there is a really good message to learn from each of their songs.

Recently I've been pretty addicted to Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream". It puts a spring in my step and just makes me feel good. I can't really describe it, but no matter the day I'm having I can put on the CD and bop along to the catchy tunes of "Teenage Dream" or cry to "The One That Got Away".