Walking through the PX holding hands. Kaylin, did you just lick me? Kaylin smiles and licks my hand again. Kaylin! Seriously, did you just lick me?
Kaylin: Old McDonald had UNDERWEARS! Old McDonald had UNDERWEARS!
Kaylin: Mom can I play with my cupcake game?
Me: No, let's wait until everyone leaves.
Kaylin: Mom, please!
Me: No baby, let's wait until everyone goes home. And then I'll play *with* you.
Kaylin: That doesn't sound like a very good deal.
Me: Come on Kaylin, let's go we have to go to the doctor!
Kaylin: No, I don't like the doctor.
Me: It's okay baby, its like Doc McStuffins for people!
A little while later while at the doctor....
Kaylin: Doc McStuffins?! Why you wear that coat? *doctor laughs*
Me: Sorry, she didn't want to come.
Me as Hot Blooded comes on my iPod: Kaylin what is this song?
Kaylin: Hot body!!!
Me: Atta girl!
Kaylin: Mommy, I wanna listen to "ahhhh, take-a-me home a-nite".
Me: Kaylin, don't eat your boogers. And don't...no DO NOT put your boogers on the TV.
Me: Kaylin, pick out a movie to watch.
Kaylin goes to the DVD rack and brings back a Family Guy Season.
Me: Let's pick something else. How about Curious George or Cinderella?!
Kaylin: NOOOOOOOOO.
Me: Kaylin, don't make a mess.
Kaylin: I no make a mess, Mommy. *turns her bowl of ice cream upside down*
Me: Fan-tas-tic. Thank you.
Kaylin: Ow! You hurt my arm! Now I can't walk.
Kaylin: I no like you. I go see Bella and Grammie.
Me: That's fine.
Kaylin: I go home and see Grammie.
Me: We are home Kaylin.
Kaylin: Oh yeah, silly goose!
Kaylin: Are we there yet?
Me: Please don't start.
Kaylin: MOM! Are we there yet?
Me: Kaylin we *just* got into the car.
Kaylin: Are we there yet?
Me: NO! Don't ask again.
Kaylin: Where are we going, Mommy?
Kaylin: This the right foot, Mommy?
Me: No baby, other foot.
Kaylin: No, this is the right foot.
Me: No baby, your other foot...still.
Kaylin: Oh you silly goose!
Me: Well at least you are consistent. To where you consistently put your shoes on the wrong feet.
Kaylin: Mommy, its gonna stink in here!
Me: Okay Kaylin. I changed your diapers at one point.
Kaylin: Nooooo!
Me: Yes huh. When you were a baby you pooped in your pants.
Kaylin: I no poop in my pants. You silly, Mommy.
*Kaylin wakes me up by poking me in the eye*
Kaylin: Mommy, wake up.
Me: Huh?
Kaylin: MOMMY! Wake up and scoot over. SCOOT OVER MOMMY!
Me: You're my baby.
Kaylin: No. I not a baby!
Me: You're right. You're my big girl.
Kaylin: No, I'm not a girl. I'm a boy.
Me: You're a girl.
Kaylin: No. I not a girl. I'm a boy!
Me: You're a girl.
Kaylin: No I not. I Kaylin A-Jean.
Me: Sold.
Me: Kaylin, say 'Go Steelers!'
Kaylin: Go Steelers!
Me: Kaylin say, 'Tony Homo.'
Kaylin: Tony Homo.
Me: Kaylin come on, let's get in the shower.
Kaylin: I no need a shower. I not stinky.
Me: Kaylin you didn't get a bath yesterday or the day before. Shower. Now.
Kaylin: I'm clean.
Me: You're gonna get all clean. Now go potty.
Kaylin: I don't need to go potty.
Me: Fine, get in the shower.
Kaylin after getting in the shower: Mommy, I have to go potty!
