Update on events

I just want to start this by thanking everyone for their concern. We are all okay. Shaken up but overall thankful for everyone's safety. We are definitely counting our blessings that it wasn't worse than it was. 

The man that drove into our apartment was not drunk. He had only an adult learners permit, no insurance, the plates weren't good and his registration wasn't valid. He apologized to us as well. 

As for the apartment, there is significant damage to the window with the possibility of foundation damage they can't assess until we aren't in the apartment. The complex has temporarily put us in the model until they can get us into a new place. We'd discussed just living in the model temporarily until the apartment is fixed, however when we looked outside our building in the hallway we noticed cracks that weren't there yesterday. We believe the foundation has been compromised so we aren't going back to that apartment. 

Thank you everyone for thinking of us and checking on us. We appreciate it! 

Thank you :)

That moment.

The moment you know you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

Honestly, I thought I'd felt that way before. But now, now I know I'm exactly where I am supposed to be.

I can't help but be thankful.

My Little. The sweet, funny, bright child that reminds me completely of me. In one hand I'm completely humbled. I am so grateful that I've been chosen to raise her. Sometimes I think she's the lucky one but then I stop and take in everything and realize that it is in fact, ME, that is the lucky one.  She saved me. Everything I strive for, everything I do, I do for her.

The man that I stand beside. I owe so much to you in such a short period of time. Not only have you been my rock, but you have shown me what my life was missing. The joy I feel now, was long lost. I locked this part of my heart away, protecting it. Instead, without knowing, you broke down every defense, stole my heart and made me a better person. Without you, things would be very different. I am so blessed and thankful that I am able to stand beside you and know that you'll be there for me with everything.

My family. I am so thankful that I have each and every one of. I could have never done any of this on my own. You each have brought me to where I am now. Even if the guidance was a bit of tough love, or a shoulder to cry on. I love you.

I couldn't be more thankful for my life right now.

2013 in a Nutshell

Wow. It seems like yesterday that I was celebrating Christmas at home with family for the first time in years. Now we've been home almost 3 years. It just blows my mind.

This year was met with sadness, loss, happiness, and love. Each emotion was bittersweet in its own way. The beginning of the year started out rough. Saying good bye to one of my dearest friends was heartbreaking. I still remember saying good bye that cold, snowy morning and wishing it was all just a dream. But from there I moved on. I grew, I learned, I slowly became whole again.

April brought new challenges. I was finally divorced, something years in the making. Even though it was never my dream to be 25 and divorced, life has an unexplained way of working out just the way it is supposed to.

The summer was spent relaxing by the pool, hanging out with my daughter and working. Just the way it should have been. In those months I felt renewed and finally happy again. Little and I made some of the best memories just sitting there smiling and drawing outside with chalk. I'll never forget the night we were snuggled up on the couch watching cartoons and I told her it was time for bed. She promptly replied, "No!" and turned her face from me. I assumed she would turn back around in a minute or two to see if I was looking at her. About a minute later I felt a huge twitch and glance over to her sound asleep. Sometimes we just need cuddles I guess!

This fall was a huge game changer. I transferred stores and became a full time employee. I worked hard for years to get that position and I wasn't going to let anyone tell me I couldn't do it. It turns out, that decision was one of the best decisions I ever made. I got to start out new and fresh. I didn't have people asking me questions about my personal life. It was like I finally let go of the old stuff I was holding onto. Though I miss some of the people at my old store dearly, I know that this was the better choice for me.

At the end of October we visited my mom in Georgia. For once I didn't have to plan Little's Halloween costume around a heavy coat. It was a nice relaxing trip, time to spend with family and just get away from the hustle and bustle that was my life.

The holiday season came and went so fast, its all a blur anymore. Spending Thanksgiving here and Christmas there, I wouldn't have had it any other way. And of course ringing in the New Year, sick sitting on my couch with the guy who makes me smile most definitely was the icing on the cake. And words cannot honestly describe how thankful I am for him. A good chunk of the time, we're decently in sync. We might get into the occasional argument or tiff but we still end up smiling. He melts my heart in a way that I've missed for a long time.

So here's to 2014. May it be just as phenomenal as 2013 was!

Conversations with my toddler

Walking through the PX holding hands. Kaylin, did you just lick me? Kaylin smiles and licks my hand again. Kaylin! Seriously, did you just lick me?

Kaylin: Old McDonald had UNDERWEARS! Old McDonald had UNDERWEARS!
 
Kaylin: Mom can I play with my cupcake game?
Me: No, let's wait until everyone leaves.
Kaylin: Mom, please!
Me: No baby, let's wait until everyone goes home. And then I'll play *with* you.
Kaylin: That doesn't sound like a very good deal.

Me: Come on Kaylin, let's go we have to go to the doctor!
Kaylin: No, I don't like the doctor.
Me: It's okay baby, its like Doc McStuffins for people!
A little while later while at the doctor....
Kaylin: Doc McStuffins?! Why you wear that coat? *doctor laughs*
Me: Sorry, she didn't want to come.

Me as Hot Blooded comes on my iPod: Kaylin what is this song?
Kaylin: Hot body!!!
Me: Atta girl!

Kaylin: Mommy, I wanna listen to "ahhhh, take-a-me home a-nite".

Me: Kaylin, don't eat your boogers. And don't...no DO NOT put your boogers on the TV.

Me: Kaylin, pick out a movie to watch.
Kaylin goes to the DVD rack and brings back a Family Guy Season.
Me: Let's pick something else. How about Curious George or Cinderella?!
Kaylin: NOOOOOOOOO.

Me: Kaylin, don't make a mess.
Kaylin:  I no make a mess, Mommy. *turns her bowl of ice cream upside down*
Me: Fan-tas-tic. Thank you.

Kaylin: Ow! You hurt my arm! Now I can't walk.

Kaylin: I no like you. I go see Bella and Grammie.
Me: That's fine.
Kaylin: I go home and see Grammie.
Me: We are home Kaylin.
Kaylin: Oh yeah, silly goose!

Kaylin: Are we there yet?
Me: Please don't start.
Kaylin: MOM! Are we there yet?
Me: Kaylin we *just* got into the car.
Kaylin: Are we there yet?
Me: NO! Don't ask again.
Kaylin: Where are we going, Mommy?

Kaylin: This the right foot, Mommy?
Me: No baby, other foot.
Kaylin: No, this is the right foot.
Me: No baby, your other foot...still.
Kaylin: Oh you silly goose!
Me: Well at least you are consistent. To where you consistently put your shoes on the wrong feet.

Kaylin: Mommy, its gonna stink in here!
Me: Okay Kaylin. I changed your diapers at one point.
Kaylin: Nooooo!
Me: Yes huh. When you were a baby you pooped in your pants.
Kaylin: I no poop in my pants. You silly, Mommy.

*Kaylin wakes me up by poking me in the eye*
Kaylin: Mommy, wake up.
Me: Huh?
Kaylin: MOMMY! Wake up and scoot over. SCOOT OVER MOMMY!

Me: You're my baby.
Kaylin: No. I not a baby!
Me: You're right. You're my big girl.
Kaylin: No, I'm not a girl. I'm a boy.
Me: You're a girl.
Kaylin: No. I not a girl. I'm a boy!
Me: You're a girl.
Kaylin: No I not. I Kaylin A-Jean. 
Me: Sold.

Me: Kaylin, say 'Go Steelers!'
Kaylin: Go Steelers!
Me: Kaylin say, 'Tony Homo.'
Kaylin: Tony Homo.

Me: Kaylin come on, let's get in the shower.
Kaylin: I no need a shower. I not stinky.
Me: Kaylin you didn't get a bath yesterday or the day before. Shower. Now.
Kaylin: I'm clean.
Me: You're gonna get all clean. Now go potty.
Kaylin: I don't need to go potty.
Me: Fine, get in the shower.
Kaylin after getting in the shower: Mommy, I have to go potty!

It really doesn't get easier. :(

I never thought seven years would pass as fast as it has. Missing you never gets easier. I have good days and bad days. The holidays, birthdays, and Father's Day are the hardest.

I'll never forget the day we lost you. I can't remember the movie I was in when Dad called to tell me that you were in the hospital. Now it just seems like a waste of time. I wish I could have been there, next to you. I played off this hospital stay as "just a bit of pneumonia" and you would be fine. Still to this day, I wish I would have picked up the phone and told you how much I love you.

I was napping when I got the call. Dad's voice just didn't seem, right. It was strained, his tone was sharp, there was no joking. The words cut me like a knife, "Ashlee, where's your mom?". Still to this day I get the chills when I think of that moment. The moment I realized that something was indefinitely, wrong. I begged him to tell me what had happened. All he did was repeatedly ask for my mom. I confirmed she wasn't home and pleaded with my dad to tell me what had happened. There was a huge lump in my throat, I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, adrenaline flooded my system.

When Dad told me what had happened I couldn't believe it. I remember crying, hearing the tears on the other end of the phone. I begged him to tell me he was kidding, that it was all some sick joke. He wasn't gone. Not my best friend. Not the person I had spent 18 birthday's with. Not MY Papa.

The next memory I have is of my mom running up the hill to her new house in Georgia, tears in her eyes. I remember throwing myself into packing, telling them I was going to get on a plane tonight. I had to be home. Papa needed me. Everyone told me that it wasn't a good idea to fly. I was hysterical. I didn't want to be 3,000 miles from home. I remember calling my work, telling them I wasn't coming back for my shift in a few days. They understood. I told my mom I wasn't staying at her house. Because they had just moved, none of their stuff had arrived yet, there was nothing to distract me. We all piled into my mom's car and went to eat, and shop.

The next day I could barely wait to get on that plane. I cried the entire flight from Atlanta to Houston. I barely even remember getting off the plane. I attempted to eat spaghetti in the terminal because I was starving, but took a few bites and remembered that Papa would never again taste Grandma's spaghetti and I had to throw it out. The plane from Houston to the Springs was a blur. I know a nice lady handed me a few pages of her Sudoku in an attempt to keep my mind off everything. It sort of worked, the tears were less frequent at least.

I got off the plane, hugged my family and just collapsed into the arms of my (at the time) boyfriend. Being home, seeing their tear stained faces made it real. Papa was gone, and I didn't even say goodbye. The next days are a blur of people, tears and food. So much food. And the last thing I even wanted to do was eat. I was beyond numb. It felt like there was an enormous hole in my chest where my heart used to be. I remember begging my dad to just leave me home one afternoon because I couldn't stand the thought of more people, more food, and more "I'm so sorry"'s. It wasn't going to bring him back. I look back and I know that everyone meant well and that they were doing it out of love for us and for Papa but at the time I was so angry that I just wanted them all to leave me alone.

I remember the wake. Standing in that room with Papa's body 50 feet away. I remember believing that if I didn't look it wouldn't be real. That I would wake up from this horrible dream and I could pick up the phone and talk to him. I avoided most of the people and I avoided the front of the room. I sat in the back crying, rocking back and forth. At some point I remember being supported and half carried to the front of the room by my (at the time) boyfriend and dad. I remember the way he looked. Almost like he had been stuffed with a cardboard box. That wasn't my Papa. He didn't have a round belly, his skin an almost unnatural flesh color. I remember a pink tint to his lips. But I had to accept the unacceptable, he was gone. He was laying there so peacefully in his favorite CC Tiger jersey. I'm sure I only stood up there for a minute, but still to this day it seems like hours.

The funeral is a blur. But I know that I still cannot listen to Amazing Grace and not cry. I remember being so exhausted in every way possible. I could barely keep my eyes open, but at the same time I avoided sleeping until I could not physically stay awake any longer.

Sometimes I find myself reaching for my phone to call him. Only to remember I don't have the number to Heaven. I'm so sad he never got to meet Kaylin. But I'm sure he's looking down laughing at me right now as I type this with a constant flow of tears. He's telling me that he sent that little girl to me, because he knew I needed her. He sent her special, just for me. I'm sad that I can't just have one more hug and know that no matter what I'm going through right now, it will all be okay and that he loves me. I know I will always want one more. Because when you lose someone who means so much to you, one more is just never enough.

He would fix anything he could. I remember countless Barbie heads being reattached as he yelled about the obnoxious number of naked Barbies we had. I remember how he loved Corona, and sprayed the daylights out of an area of his favorite Mexican restaurant . I remember his little green coin holder that smelled like years of loose change. I remember how much he bickered with my grandma because she would move stuff around on him, "Dammit, Ginger!". I remember the trap he made to catch the pesky squirrels in the backyard, and how excited he got when he actually caught one. He would drive them to Palmer Park and let them go, so they would have a nice big area to run around in. I remember how much he loved fishing. Boy did he love to fish. I remember how he taught us to use maggots and would always make his own flies for fly fishing. I remember curling up next to him in his chair, pushing off the crossword puzzle that was meticulously folded. He always had room for us in that chair, even at 16 that was still my favorite spot in the house. Every now and then when I close my eyes I can imagine myself in that chair, my head on his chest.

I miss him, so much. I love you Papa. Always and Forever

April 13th 1934 - July 28th 2006

Day 36 – A picture of your pet

Well ya'll I don't have a pet. Not even a fish. Its not that I don't like pets, because that's far from it. Right now I know that the responsibility of having a pet is more than I can take at the moment. Between work, living in an apartment, and being a single mom...I just don't have the time to devote to a pet, of any sort.

Now that being said, I'd LOVE a German Shepherd. I've always loved them. They are so loyal, and beautiful. So instead of making this a post of MY pet, I'm going to post about the pet that I've always wanted. And one day, when I have a house and a big enough back yard with the time to devote to him/her, I plan on getting.

Don't they make the cutest puppies?

Day 35 – A picture of your hometown

This is home. Colorado Springs, Colorado. Our city, sitting at the base of Pikes Peak. The place I was born and raised. The place that I would love to raise my kiddo.

There is so much to do here. We've got the best of both worlds. We've got the city, with its abundance of movie theaters, malls, nightlife, and good neighborhoods and schools. And we're close to the mountains for the weekend getaways and daily hiking trips. We've got Santa's Workshop, The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, and The Garden of the Gods. Plenty to do outside and inside.

I love my city. I love being able to do just about anything I want at any time. I'm thankful this is home.

Thoughts this Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. I had spent the previous night working overnight, slept for 5 hours and got ready for church. By 8 pm I was exhausted and my Little was definitely tired too. I had to fireman carry her out of a family members house kicking and screaming. I still had a long night ahead of me and it was definitely taking its toll.

After I got my Little in her new Christmas pj's, we laid in her bed and tracked Santa one last time as she drifted off to sleep. I quietly closed her bedroom door with a soft, "I love you baby. Sleep good and Merry Christmas." And I began the painstaking process of assembling a few of her presents.

As I put the final sticker on her new kitchen, I sat on the couch and looked at everything she had been given. That's when it hit me. Some parents had presents under their trees that will never be opened.

I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to be the family of one of the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary. I can only imagine the pain of seeing an empty bed Christmas Eve knowing that it will never be full again. That those feet will not coming bounding down the stairs Christmas morning in excitement to see what Santa had left. Those parents will never again read "The Night Before Christmas" to all their children on Christmas Eve.

Suddenly as overwhelmed, tired, and stressed as I was, I was thankful. Thankful that my Little was sleeping safely in her bed.

That is when I bowed my head and prayed. Prayed for those innocent souls taken too soon, prayed for the families who were going to be missing a loved one this Christmas, and I thanked God for everything I have. Because without Him, I would have nothing.

So take a moment and thank God for all you have and what he has done for you. It shouldn't take a tragedy to remind us how fragile life is, but I am so thankful I have another day with the one who matters most.

Summer has come and gone

Wow, pretty long time since I actually sat down and wrote a blog. Let's see....

Happy 2nd Birthday Kaylin!

I finished and passed my microbiology and math classes. We surprised my mom in Georgia for my brother's high school graduation and then went back to Georgia at the beginning of July. I watched in fear as the mountains surrounding my city burned. Kaylin turned 2, we celebrated with a Mickey Mouse themed pool party. It was even complete with a full banner, home made by her aunts!

I can't believe summer is already gone again, it feels like yesterday it was snowing outside as I was studying the Krebs cycle of bacteria. Its almost time to shut those windows again and snuggle up on the couch with someone special and a cup of coffee.

Now I'm back in school, finishing up my last classes before I can apply for the nursing program. So forgive me if some of these are spread out, studying is more important than blogging. Speaking of, enjoy these pictures, I gotta hit the books while Kaylin sleeps.

Kaylin and I on her birthday

Her cake

Cutting cake and scooping ice cream

Day 34 – A picture of your favorite morning

 

Taking home my Little

 Every now and then when I'm feeling sentimental, I look back at pictures of my Little when she was first born. Recently she sat in that car seat, and ate it alive. Instead in this picture it looks like its swallowing her!

Sleeping like an angel

I remember Dennis went to get the car, the nurse helped me into the wheelchair and I put my bundled up little girl on my lap.We got to the emergency exit where Dennis had parked the car so I didn't have to walk far, being post-surgery and all. Little was put into the car and I eased myself into the front seat. It was a miserably cold and rainy August morning.

I was slightly paranoid with the rain and the autobahn but we got her home safe and sound and laid her gently into the bassinet and proceeded to take a nap too.

Little on her first birthday

My other favorite morning was the morning that she turned 1. Since we'd had her birthday party the Saturday before, we just did something small after church. I saved a few presents for her actual birthday and this is one of my favorite shots.

She loves her "baby" 's as much as I did when I was little. I see myself in this little girl daily! From her attitude, to her addiction to stuffed animals. At this current moment I have 4 stickers plastered all over my hand from her putting them there.

Man I wouldn't trade this for the WORLD.

Toddler Dressing Olympics

So getting my toddler dressed in the morning has gone from a quick 2 minute process to a full blown race around the house. Then it dawned on me, there are many ways the sport of toddler dressing can take form.

The cooperative toddler: The time when your precious bundle of joy is actually willing to put that pudgy little arm in the shirt sleeve, or lets you put on shoes that fit just right. However, I rarely see this until half way through the dressing sport.

The run away toddler: My toddler's personal favorite event in the sport of dressing. She loves to let me get her undressed, get her new diaper on and then she flips over and runs away. There is a lot of, "Come back here." and  "You need to get dressed, Mommy has to go bye-bye. Don't you want to see Papa?" Typically all of these statements get a simple, "No." response. Then I have to get up, and chase after her while she runs into the nearest corner in a feeble attempt to hide from me. After I retrieve my darling toddler, I have to fight the thrashing and crying to get her pants and shirt on. The shoes typically are more fun for her, she likes to watch them get put on.

The could have been cooperative toddler: Once in a while, my sweet little girl will do exactly as I ask, "Go lay down in your room, you need a butt-butt change." She'll go lay down on her bedroom floor all nice and sweet and the second I grab the diaper and wipes out comes the kicking, screaming, fighting toddler. Typically this occurs more when there is a diaper rash or something...but she still kicks and fights getting dressed. I'm fairly sure that is where a good portion of the bruises on my legs have come from.

The half dressed toddler: Usually I can manage to get a diaper changed, pants and socks on my toddler easily. I'll sit her up to put the shirt over her head and hike those tiny little jeans up over her no butt, and she takes off. She laughs running around the house without a shirt on, belly hanging out. Typically I have to chase her down and get the shirt on over her head before she collapses to the floor in one of her typical morning fits.

The distracted toddler: Similar to the cooperative toddler, but instead of helping she is distracted. Be it the tv, a random toy she's yelled, "Me!" for, or a stuffed animal she's mauling for the 100th time, she's a bit more cooperative until the shirt has to get put on.

Anyone else have a fun toddler dressing story to share?

Realizations as of today.

I'm not one for regrets. Each decision, even if not the best has put me on the path that I am on now. I may not feel like I have the brightest path right now, but I also know that its always darkest before the dawn. Sometimes I wish things had turned out differently, but now I just know this is how it was meant to be.

For over a year now, I've tried building something that just doesn't exist. I've tried so desperately to repair something that was unrepairable. I spent sleepless nights worrying, and days crying. I've called people in the middle of the night and I've called people just to cry on the phone. I've had friends listen, I've had friends give advice.

I am so thankful for the girls I had in Germany. It broke my heart to leave them, even though I knew my Little and I needed to be here. Those girls got me through more in 2 years than some friends do in a lifetime. I also have to rave about the few friends that I have here. They've listened to me rant and complain about everything that has gone on.

Not once do I regret moving to Germany. If I didn't, I would have the amazing people in my life that I do, and I would most certainly not have the one little person in my life who makes everything worth living. I am fairly certain that if I didn't have her, I would have had a much harder time with everything.

Now for the realization part. I'm sick and tired of trying to create something. If someone wants to be in MY life or in my daughter's life...they will do it. I won't have to force it, or beg for it. As much as it sucks and I don't want things to end, none of that clearly matters to the other party.

Its time for me to start worrying about ME and what I want in my life. Because I know for a fact there are people in my life who are able to love my Little as much as I do.

So to you, the person that I'm talking about (because you know flat out who you are)...I'm not forcing this anymore. You want to be part of her life then step up. Because if not, there ARE people out there willing to fill those shoes. It may have taken me over a year to deal with everything but I know that from all of this I am going to be a better person and I AM all that this little girl needs in her life. For that I am certain.

Day 33 – A picture of somewhere you went today

Denver Museum of Nature and Science

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm cheating...a bit. We went yesterday. But my goal was to write this yesterday, but I was tired.

One of my favorite places in the world sits just an hour (ish) north of me. Yeah, I'm a museum geek. I love them. Okay well most of them, I'm not a huge fan of paintings; hence why the science museum is my place.

Ever since I was little this place has fascinated me. I love seeing all the different animals in their "habitat", the dinosaur bones, and learning all about my health in the (then) Hall of Life.

So for the first time in 7 years, I stepped foot in front of the giant building that I knew and loved. This time I took my darling daughter with me. I was so excited that I didn't even mind getting up early, and barely remember the drive.

Little in front of a skeleton

I "ooh-ed" and "ahh-ed" at everything, trying to get my Little as interested as possible. Ya know, her attention span is that of a gnat's so riding around in a comfy stroller looking at things that aren't moving...doesn't captivate her for long. She ran around some of the animal exhibits that were less crowded, and climbed to get some of that energy out. By the time we got to the dinosaurs she honestly could have cared less. However I find it funny that I have taken pictures maybe around 4 or 6 from some of the same locations that I made her take pictures yesterday. In over 20 years, the majority of that exhibit hasn't changed.

The only thing that really bummed me out was not being able to share the Hall of Life with her. The Hall of Life was closed in (I want to say) 2009 to be replaced with a much needed updated version. So now we have the Exhibition Life exhibit. Naturally it was always the most packed exhibit and yesterday was no exception. It didn't help that I chose to go while every other kid in Denver seemed to be on spring break. Oh well, looks like we'll just have to go again one random day before school's out. I made sure I did the face aging part of the exhibit and found out what I would look like overweight at 70. Not necessarily the most attractive thing ever. Definitely makes me want to eat better and exercise more.

The T-Rex at the entrance

All in all it was a wonderful day. We had a lot of fun and took lots of pictures. I'm definitely looking forward to going back.

Oh and the best part, military gets in free. Yup, little known fact for you all there. :)

Day 32 – A picture of what you did today

Noodles and Company

After a long day at work the last thing I really want to do is make food when I come home. Especially when I haven't eaten more than chips and coffee all day, seeing as I realized half way to work that I left my lunch at home vending machine food it was.

On the way home I was starving, and the Little was grumpy. Food was definitely in order, and guess who wins at parenting today and totally forgot to pull something out of the freezer for dinner.

And then I remembered the beautiful restaurant on our way home. Noodles and Company. I'm pretty sure this is a fantastic gift from God. Not only will they allow you to substitute to make it your way, they even know what the heck you're talking about. Thank you pasta Gods.

So there I stood in front of a fairly cute cashier trying to explain that I wanted the original House Marinara (which has been taken off the menu for a few years, I guess...). He totally smiled as I described that I wanted the Spaghetti and Meatballs without meatballs, and penne pasta.

So the House Marinara, huh?

I am fairly certain the smile on my face was huge while holding my 19 month old daughter on my mom hip. Honestly, had he asked me to marry him right then and there, it would have been a done deal.

Yes, please! Oh my gosh I'm so excited you knew what I was talking about!

He smiled, we chatted and a few minutes later the Little and I were out the door with her Wisconsin Mac-N-Cheese and my specially made House Marinara.

My long day was completely worth it to get those stewed tomatoes (only kind I will eat in chunks), penne noodles, cheese and Parmesan crusted chicken.

Friday rocks.

Day 31 – A picture of food you made

Pineapple Swiss Chicken

I'm fairly certain I have posted this recipe on my blog before. But because I'm feeling lazy and don't really take pictures of my food all that often, this is it.

I actually can't even remember where I saw this recipe. I want to say probably either in my $5 mom meals book or on the back of a Swiss Cheese package; but either way I still think its delicious.

Marinade your chicken breasts in Italian Dressing, which by the way is a wonderful way to cook chicken period, cook them until they are done. Remove them from the pan and slightly brown the pineapple rings in the remaining Italian Dressing (feel free to add dressing if needed). Once they are slightly browned, remove them and add the chicken back to the pan. Place the pineapple rings on top of the chicken and cover with a slice of Swiss Cheese. Melt the cheese and VIOLA! You have a delicious meal that is easy on the wallet and the stomach.

You can add pretty much anything as a side. In the picture we have brown rice and green beans. The other day we had it with mixed veggies and rice.

For the recipe and directions click here.

Day 30 – A picture of your favorite quote

I love this quote. It is so completely simple, but so rarely done.

I'm not going to be the first to admit that more often then not I am the one stuck in a rut about what is going on around me. Be it with Dennis, work, school, or home I can definitely let it consume me and eat me alive. There have been days that I have definitely fought getting out of bed because of what is going on.

But thankfully God gave me a wonderful little girl who forces me to get up in the mornings, even when I'd rather curl up in a ball under the covers.

Life doesn't always work out the way we want it to. Things change, people let go, sometimes we take it too hard, but other times its important to take a step back and learn from those mistakes. Each moment is a learning experience, we may not know (or ever know) why things happen but there is always a reason.

For now I'm trying to enjoy each day, in some way, shape, or form. Do something for myself, take the Little out for ice cream, make a point of laughing at a joke. Just do SOMETHING, because I want to make sure I am dancing in the rain.

I actually purchased a vinyl wall decal that had this quote on it.

Opening our hearts to God allows ANY possibility, but we have to make sure we let Him control that.

It is definitely one of my favorite quotes as well, because it is all very true. Even in the darkest moments of our lives, we can look to God and find a light to reach out and grab.

Day 29 – A picture that can always make you smile

The Little on her first birthday

 There is just something about the way a kid eats his or her first piece of birthday cake. Call me old fashioned, call me mean, or crazy but I didn't want my Little to have cake (ice cream was fine) until her birthday. I wanted her to be able to have that experience.

Okay I also wanted the really cool pictures of cake smeared from one end of everything to the next.

The day was as perfect as it could have been. Presents were piled high, decorations were hung with absolute perfection, and the pinata was (surprisingly) hard to crack. All in all, her birthday went very well.

It puts a smile on my face to know that those who meant the world to us were at the party (even from afar) and that so many people love my little girl.

I can't believe how big she's gotten! It makes me sad, but very happy all at the same time.

Day 28 – A picture of your favorite place in the world

David

I am one of the few people that I know that got the privilege to stand in front of this statue and take in its amazing beauty.

Senior year of high school I got the pleasure to tour Europe. It was an extraordinary experience. Walking on bridges that were hundreds of years old in London, standing on top of the Effiel Tower in Paris, and viewing Vatican City; all once in a lifetime opportunities.

However, my favorite part of the trip was getting the chance to see Michaelangelo's David. There weren't many of us on the trip that had the desire to go find the hole in the wall museum where David is displayed, so a small group of us went on a hunt. We were led by our "fearless" leader, who happened to be my favorite high school teacher. He knew where we were going and, in all honesty had we not gone with him (and of course the small line formed outside) we would have walked past the museum and not thought twice.

Once inside there were no photographs to be taken. The walls were hung from floor to ceiling with paintings, and flash photography effects the brightness of the paint, making the paint fade.

There is a small bench behind the statue, my aunt and I made our way up to it and spent the next (almost) hour pointing out the immense detail carved so delicately out of marble. I was in complete and total awe. I cannot believe that a man was able to carve such an amazing creation out of marble. Even with today's technology, I know for a fact I could never carve anything out of marble.

I could honestly spend hours looking over the detail created. Truly one of my favorite places in the entire world.

Test

Lets just see. I'm testing out the waters here...

READY.AND.GO

Maury.

Truth. I love daytime TV. Its completely pointless, has too many commercials...but I can't get enough!

So I've written a scene from a Maury episode. Because Maury has like a whole whopping 5 shows. If its not someone's 15th time guessing the baby daddy, its fixing a baby daddy, boot camp for obese people, interventions, and his occasional need for overcoming the odds stories. See 5.

Me: Truth. Jerry is funny. I love that show. An Maury, OMG Maury.

Twinsie: LUKE I am NOT your father.

Me: Luke, you are NOT the father.

Twinise: omggggg!


Me: Audience: "Ooohhhh!!!" *Lots of jumping up and down and yelling.

Twinsie: HAHAHAHAHA

Me: Luke *jumping up and down*: I told you. I told you!
Bonequeisha: *runs off stage in tears*

Twinsie: ITS YOUR COUSIN FROM YOUR MOTHERS WEDDIN THAT WORKS AT MICKY D'S!

Me:   Maury: *goes after Bonequeisha* You know this is father number 8 we've tested, Bonequeisha....
Bonequeisha: It was him! It was him!

Twinsie: BUT I'M POSITIVE it was HIM!

Me:  Oh my God I should write screen plays!

Twinsie: Your tests are fake! Somehow, we're always on the same brain wave.





BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA